George Carlin's View on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 And your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them!"

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is
unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

ARAZ'S VISIT

As all of you who talk with me regularly know, we had a visit from AI recently. Araz was in Puerto Rico for 5 days and we had a lot of eventful meetings as well as having a great time! Here's a photo of a night out dancing at Brava. We were in the car when this was taken, drinking out of paper bags... I know, terrible!

I'M GOING TO SEE SHAKIRA

Yes, I've always thought that since she did her Laudry Service crossover she has become a sellout, I also think she is a pretty bad dancer, and her voice now sounds processed...

Nevertheless I made the decision today to go see her with some friends. I don't think I can miss out on such a "spectacle", plus I like all her albums in spanish...

So yeah, Im going.. who's the sellout now???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANETH!!!

"There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do."

SOME PHOTOS OF SATURDAY NIGHT
MARC ANTHONY AND BRAVA

LIZARD PORN

A couple of months ago, Claudia and I were at El Refugio and we saw these lizards going at it. So disgusting, but it deserved a photo.

MARC ANTHONY CONCERT

Okay so i was really looking forward to this concert, seeing as Marc Anthony is one of the best out there for salsa and what not, plus I was told that JLo, his wife, would do a couple of songs with him. So Janeth and I decided we'd have a big day and, as Jacob the trainee left us his car, we went shopping and bought some pretty nice clothes we wore on the night, and also went to the best hairdresser here on the island (the bill was quite steep, but the results were worth it).

Anyway, concert time came along and we got to the place about half an hour before it was due to start.... Well... we had to wait for an hour and a half for it to start. Then it started and the acoustics to the place were terrible, all we could hear was an echo. Could not understand a word he was saying and couldn't really decipher the music. I opted to watching him on screen and the guy looked like he was on some mean drugs cocktail... Pretty disgusting.

Then JLo came along (I love JLo) and she couldn't make it any better, it was quite the anticlimax to tell you the truth. Very, very dissappointing. I was trully left speechless.

The night was rescued, however, because we decided to go out clubbing afterwards and got home at 6:30am. Had a wonderful night with Natalia, Janeth and Xolo. But yeah... not compelled to ever go to a Marc Anthony concert!!!